I have been a Christian, at least in name, with varying levels of commitment, for as long as I can remember being an anything. And for as long as I can remember, I always dread getting to the parts of the Bible that discuss Jesus’ crucifixion. I love the Bible SO VERY MUCH, and I also hate these parts of the Bible. I really do.
As I read the gospels, I grow in my affection for the person of Jesus, the kindness and sincerity of our God. And then I see people who profess to serve God be the ones to secure His crucifixion, and … I get really sad.
But why is it, do you think, that I get so sad? I wondered that today, as I repeatedly wept and cried over the text of John 19.
It’s easy for me to be angry with those who turned Jesus over to die, but I think I maybe identify with my potential to be them, more than I am angry with them. And then I think maybe the reason I weep is because reviewing the death of Christ, requires me, to on some level, face my own need for Him – in a raw way that digs really deep inside me.
In John 11:45-48, we can read about how these same men (those who eventually secure the death of Jesus) recognized that if everyone believed in Jesus, they would lose their comfort and their place of power.
Have I ever loved comfort and power more than serving God? Yes. Yes I have.
In John 12:42-43, John explains that many of these same men did believe in Jesus, meaning they KNEW He was the MESSIAH – but they would not confess Him because they loved the praise of men more than praise from God.
Have I ever loved the approval of people more than the approval of God? Yes, I repeatedly have.
Luke’s account tells us that after Peter had denied the Lord 3 times and realized his own weakness, he “went out and wept bitterly.” Luke 22:62
Do you think that in that moment, Peter identified with the actions of the men who were currently in the process of sending Jesus to His death? Do you think he realized that he was equally depraved and lost in his own weakness and sin without Jesus?
I think he might have.
Judas conspired to have Jesus put to death after serving closely with Him for 3 years. THREE years. And while we don’t have specifics on whether Judas wept bitterly, we do know that Judas realized that he had done wrong and regretted it – bitterly. He tried to right his wrong and could not, and when he saw no other option, he ended his own life. This is very bitter. Judas saw his own weakness and depravity, just like Peter did.
Each of us must, at some point, recognize our own depravity before God. What we do with that knowledge is up to us. But here’s what I want you to know: I believe Judas could have returned to Jesus for forgiveness. But when he realized he had allowed greed to bring him to betray the life of the very Son of God, he couldn’t imagine that he could be forgiven.
We have all, if we have confessed Christ, betrayed the life of the very Son of God every time we have preferred the approval of other people or our own comfort or the pride of power, or the comfort of money, over obedience to HIM. That’s true.
Before we confessed Christ, it is our sin that sent Jesus to His death.
And the gospel is that He loved us, God loved us so much that He willingly endured our betrayal in order to give us the opportunity to enter into His righteousness.
Each one of us was created in the image of God. He created us to be part of His family. And then He gave us a choice. I realize that while I have always professed to be a Christian, I have often chosen everything else over living in obedience to Christ. I am so thankful that when I realize my weakness, and I run to Him, He accepts me, cleanses me, and forgives me.
The truth is that each of us must come to this realization. Because this truth applies to all of us. And if we have forgotten it, we must come back to it. The book of Galatians is all about reminding Christians that we cannot work for our salvation. There is nothing we can do that adds up to anything but depravity. But if we accept Christ’s free gift, we can walk in service to His kingdom, by His power, and in His service, do things that add up to His will and purposes.
Lord, please remind me over and over again of how much I need YOU. And how much I cannot please You on my own.
